


Two steps forward, One step back

by Nathamuel



Series: Two Steps AU [1]
Category: Den lengste reisen | The Longest Journey, Dreamfall Chapters
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, First Time Bottoming, Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, M/M, Morning After, Morning Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 10:17:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6514138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathamuel/pseuds/Nathamuel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The nights they spend in a sweaty tangle and come morning Kian listened to Likho getting dressed.  He still hadn’t decided if he preferred waking to an empty bed or this. It was the same each time until it wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set an undisclosed time after the game, I'm just pretending everything went alright, nobody died. Lalalala I can't hear you Canon!

Kian missed being woken by strands of sunlight. With the home of the Resistance being underground, none of the rooms had any windows. This way it was only his inner clock, a knock on the door or as was the case now, the quiet rustling of Likho getting dressed that told him that it was morning or close to it. Likho usually left well before sunrise, when the chances of being caught leaving the once-Apostle’s room were at their lowest.

A near noiseless sigh escaped Kian and he turned his face more firmly into his pillows, glad that he lay with his back to the Dolmari. Sleep still clung to him, making his mind fuzzy.

Back home it was not uncommon to have two soldiers who weren’t roomed together none-the-less leave one sleeping chamber together. No one commented on it, except for friends. There were no hostile glances unless it was from someone interested in one of the parties. At best there was leering and jokes, harmless and playful. But the Dolmari’s upbringing had been different.

Kian understood to an extend but it made it none the less hurtful to be left like a paid whore before the sun had even risen.  
Not that he had ever been in an establishment of that kind, Kian thought to himself. And not that Likho paid him for sharing his bed. 

Kian sighed again, quietly so as not to alert Likho to his state of wakefulness. Instead, he listened to the sounds behind him. His fingers curled into the fabric of the pillow under his head. The room still stunk of sex. Later he would have to air it out as best as he was able.  
Cloth rustled and leather creaked as Likho undoubtedly pulled his garments and armor back on, putting himself back into his warrior self. Every time they spend the night together it was the same each morning after, if Kian woke up at least.

The nights they spend in a sweaty tangle of varying levels of roughness, never anything gentle about it. And come morning Kian listened to Likho getting dressed.  
He still hadn’t decided if he preferred waking to an empty bed or this.

There was the noise of the leather guard being adjusted. Then a moment of silence before booted feet came closer to the bed, halting briefly before they moved towards the door.  
When Kian shifted to lie on his stomach with his face still turned away from the door, they halted again.  
If Kian would open his eyes there would be only the wall in front of him with a magic light up above him that turned itself on when the sun was close to rising. It was fascinating, but strange.

It flared to life now, the blackness behind his eyelids becoming a little less dark. How Likho could get dressed in darkness Kian had no idea. He would have probably put on his shirt on backwards. Behind him the silence remained. Likho had not moved yet and Kian shifted again to get more comfortable. There was no mission today so he had every intention of getting back to sleep as soon as the Dolmari had made up his mind and was gone. 

Soon there would be the sound of an opening door. When it did not come, Kian’s heart fluttered treacherously. The steps behind him came haltingly, almost cautiously, closer instead. Likho was treading quietly, none of his usual forceful stride. 

For a moment Kian entertained the thought of saying something. To demand that Likho make a choice so that he could finally sleep again.  
But somehow he did not dare. Instead he found himself holding his breath as Likho came to a stop beside the bed.  
And then there was the rustling and creaking of leather and cloth again as it was placed on the stool that stood at the foot of the bed. Kian forced himself to breathe quietly, calmly, to belie how his heart was suddenly racing in his chest. He curled a hand under himself, pressed it against the area as if that would help him find true calm.  
Every few seconds Likho seemed to stop in his motions, grow completely still. Whatever internal conflict there was in Likho, Kian did not want to interrupt.

He knew enough about fighting his demons. 

A sizzling of a candle being lit reached his ears. Then the bed dipped behind him.

“You’re awake.” Likho stated and a calloused hand slid over the skin of Kian’s waist, more gently than was usual. Gentleness like this was only rarely reserved for the few quiet moments of sweaty, sated embrace they shared when they were done rolling around between the sheets.

This was… strange. If good or bad, Kian could not say. It was new, frighteningly and excitingly so. 

Kian contemplated pretending to sleep for just a moment, but he was awake and would not lie. He opened his eyes to look back at the man now pressing along his back under the blanket.

“I am.” He agreed and shivered slightly when Likho breathed over his shoulder and then pressed lips against the skin. Likho said no more but his eye was hooded with just a hint of _something_ hidden in it’s depth. Some vulnerability maybe, although Kian had a hard time relating that particular emotion to the warrior even after what Likho had told him on the way to Ge’en. Even their first time had been forceful, initiated by the Dolmari.

Kian briefly burrowed his face into the pillow at the memory, shifting his legs to feel the aches of the previous night before he let his body go pliant when Likho pulled at his shoulder. He was rolled onto his back. Then Likho hovered over him, the thin blanket hanging around his waist and casting everything below in shadows. The Dolmari’s expression was now one of contemplation and Kian was just about to open his mouth and ask what was wrong when Likho moved his hands to the Azadi’s legs and pulled them apart, arranging them so he could settle on his knees between them.

Kian could see his throat working momentarily.

“You could tell me what you want, you know.” Kian said, every thought of sleep had fled his mind. He reached for Likho, to do what he wasn’t sure. Likho allowed kisses of course, plundering Kian’s mouth quite thoroughly and eagerly when they were alone but then it was always night or late evening. Now it was morning, even though the candle’s flickering light cast the room in twilight shadows.

His hands were caught and almost gently, but quite firmly, pressed into the pillow on either side of his head. 

The flush on Likho’s cheeks talked of embarrassment but the wrinkle between his brows told of anger as he said, without quite meeting Kian’s eyes, “Don’t talk. Don’t move.” And softer still. “Please.”

There was nothing Kian could say to that. Words had deserted him as he lay back, arms over his head and Likho sitting between his raised thighs. Throat dry, he only nodded and Likho loosened his grip, caressing the thin skin of Kian’s wrists apologetically. Then he slid his palms down over Kian’s forearms, his elbows and biceps, intense gaze locked on the motion and, maybe, the contrast between their skins. 

Kian snorted quietly, squirmed when the tips of Likho’s fingers moved briefly over his armpits before they traced the lines of his collarbone. The lines between Likho’s brows eased slightly and then he settled back on his haunches, blanket pooling around his waist. On a whim, Kian caught the fabric with his toes and kicked it to the edge of the bed. A naked Likho was a sight that did not fail to let his mouth run dry. He could not help how his legs hooked back around the warrior. 

Another line eased.

Then Likho’s hands settled first on Kian’s raised knees that bracketed him before sliding down over his thighs, thumbs digging into the thick muscle almost like in a massage. Over his waist, bypassing his groin and letting Kian sigh forlornly, and up over his belly until his hands splayed over Kian’s chest and Likho was bend over him. Bathed in light from the candle from one and the magic light from the other side. 

Kian’s member was half hard between his legs and Likho’s cock brushed against his when the Dolmari settled lower on his knees, until Kian’s ass was almost in his lap.  
The calloused palms stroked over Kian’s chest and Likho licked his lips when nipples hardened under his touch. Kian moaned when Likho stroked over them again, pinched one of them between his fingers.

Every other encounter of theirs had always been rushed. Now Likho seemed to take his time. Kian felt his cock harden further, both at the prospect of a more drawn out loving, if he could call anything they did _loving_ , or at the touch that made his muscles and other body parts tense and his skin tingle. His mouth fell open on a sigh when Likho circled his hands lower and lower across his torso and stomach, alternating between hard presses and light touches. One of Likho’s brows arched and a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth when a particularly light touch across Kian’s side made the Azadi snort with laughter.

Kian felt as if he was being taken apart while Likho remained unfazed, except for the hardness so clearly pressing against the crease where his leg met his pelvis.  
Likho’s face turned serious again and he resumed his ministrations. Lower and lower his hands trailed, over his solar plexus, down over Kian’s stomach, making his muscles twitch and his breath grow labored. When Likho raked blunt nails low over Kian’s inner thighs Kian could not help but arch his back, hands fisting into the pillow under his head and rubbing his hard cock up against the planes of Likho’s belly. 

A moment later Likho’s hands were back to clutching Kian’s waist. No, not clutching, pressing him back into the bed. Kian stared up at him, for a moment uncomprehendingly, and almost told him to get his hands back on his thighs for Goddess sake. 

“Close your eyes.” Likho commanded and after only a moment’s hesitation Kian did.  
For a moment, Likho seemed to move away. Then Kian almost swallowed his own tongue when the wet heat of Likho’s mouth sunk down over his cock without warning.  
Kian’s eyes flew open and he fisted his hands into the pillow beside his head, lest he reach down and rake his fingers through the hair, stark white between his legs and bobbing up and down, taking him deep until he felt the head of his cock bump against the back of the Dolmari’s mouth, making Likho gag and pull back until he could swirl his tongue around the top. Likho’s hands were like vices on either side of his hips, keeping him from bucking into the pressure, seeking more.

It was obvious, that Likho was inexperienced in this but Kian could not care when he had fantasized about this for the better part of the last two months. A shameless groan found it’s way out of his throat and had his eyes had not been shut he would have seen a smile play around Likho’s generous mouth. All thoughts had fled Kian’s mind at the sensations that assaulted his consciousness. He felt dazed, dizzy as if he couldn’t get enough air. A fire burned low in his belly, stoked by Likho’s touch on him.

“By the Goddess.” Slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it and the feeling of Likho snorting around his cock, wet heat tightening, was enough to make him moan again.  
One of Likho’s hands wrapped around the base of Kian’s cock, licking over the underside while his other hand slipped down, touching Kian’s sack. Then he swallowed the tip again while his fingers slipped lower still, to where Kian was sore and sticky from the night before.

Kian’s thighs trembled and against his sweat slick skin he felt Likho’s torso expand, quicker than before. Likho’s breath was labored and when Kian focused on his face he could see the flush that had spread over his cheeks and to his ears, could see the flush, too, on his chest when he momentarily pulled back.

The night before, they had used oil but in his daze Kian wasn’t sure where it had gone but nonetheless Likho’s fingers were slick when they pushed into him, stinging a little but sinking easily in to the first knuckle, then the second, crooking and searching until Kian’s back arched off the bed and he spend himself in Likho’s mouth with a shout, orgasm cresting over him. 

Then he lay there panting. For a moment, Likho’s mouth remained around his cock, holding his softening member in that wet heat before the touch became uncomfortable. Sluggishly, Kian moved one of his legs and placed a foot against Likho’s shoulder, pushing slightly.

Likho easily let himself be moved but not far. Instead he pressed his open mouth, swollen and spit slick, to where Kian’s leg met groin, panting against the skin. His broad shoulders still held Kian’s thighs apart. A thin sheen of sweat covered him and Kian fuzzily thought that he would like to lick it off him. It did not seem like Likho was meaning to depart soon. Kian could see his hips gently undulating against the sheets.

“I could help you with that, you know.” He whispered and rubbed the ball of his foot against Likho’s back, simply because it was in reach and if felt nice, intimate. Kian lifted his hands from the pillow and settled them on his belly, inching them closer to the white-haired head. His hands were itching to card through the strands and pull him up for a kiss.  
Likho looked at him then, eye dark and so hungry it send a shiver down Kian’s spine.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He promised before he moved back to his knees. Kian could see his cock straining between his legs. Flushed dark and weeping, it made his own mouth water. He would like to return the favor, even if his own experience was as lacking as Likho’s. Though he had gone down on Likho before. Just then Likho’s hand wrapped around his cock and his eyes closed, looking almost pained. With a start Kian realized that he was staving off his orgasm and a new flush wormed it’s way over his skin, rekindling a slow burning fire in his belly. His fingers twitched.

“Are you only going to stare at me then?” Kian asked when Likho remained sitting back on his haunches, still panting but expression turning strangely thoughtful and closed-off. So often he was hard to read.

Likho didn’t answer but after a moment his hands settled back on Kian’s waist, palms stroking across his skin. Then Likho leaned down and kissed him. Kian opened his mouth willingly and for a while they traded open-mouthed kisses, lazy ones not meant to deepen. Likho’s cock dug into the crease of Kian’s groin. 

A deep, hitching breath and Likho’s tongue licked over his lips at the next exhale. Kian opened his mouth and his hand snaked to Likho’s neck, pulling him tighter against him and pushed his tongue between Likho’s lips until their tongues were rubbing up against each other. His other arm wrapped around Likho’s shoulders, pressing their chests together.

Then he lifted his hips, let Likho’s hard cock drag against his hole. Against him, Likho shuddered.

“No, wanton beast.” He growled against his mouth, biting at the corner of Kian’s mouth and forcefully stilling Kian’s hips and pressing them down against the sheets with his own. Kian surprised himself with a breathy laugh.

“I’ve never been called that.” He admitted. A thrill of excitement let his muscles tremble and he tightened his arms around Likho, nuzzling his cheek. Likho hid his face in the bend of his neck. A hint of teeth scraped over his skin, raising goosebumps. 

And it was true. There had not been many lovers before Likho. While ‘not many’ was still an understatement. But he enjoyed having Likho’s cock in his body when they had enough time for more than just a quick fumble in the dark.

Before he could ask what Likho _wanted_ from him, Likho had already captured his mouth again. With their bodies so tightly pressed together Kian could feel the edge of new arousal tingle through his body, down to his hardening cock. Likho lifted up to his knees again but his mouth kept Kian distracted. It was heady. The back of Likho’s arm pressed against his groin and Kian jerked but Likho did not let him turn his head, a hand squeezed on his neck. 

Kian’s arousal was still young, there was no urgency, at least for himself. At least not until Likho’s oil-slick palm wrapped around his newly awakening member. Time seemed to run together because he could not tell how much had passed. His hips bucked up into the unforgiving grip and he cursed the man in the language of his people, making Likho laugh against the base of his throat where he bit down to leave a mark.

A mutter against his skin that sounded like “I need you hard.” but Kian did not get it until Likho moved to straddle his waist.  
Kian’s mouth fell open on a gasp but no words came out as Likho steadied his cock and then bore down on it, eye closed and lips pressed into a thin line, a wrinkle between his brows that spoke of the discomfort he felt. A grunt escaped him and Kian’s hands settled on Likho’s waist, stroking soothingly over his sweaty skin while he held very very still. For a split second he had to wonder if this was all a dream, a very vivid dream as the tightness of Likho’s body wrapped around his cock, too tight. A moan escaped him and he fought not to move, to thrust into the the man balancing above him and inevitably hurt him.

Usually in their dalliance it was Kian who received. He did not mind. He quite enjoyed Likho’s cock but taking the warrior in this way was a revelation in its own right.  
A show of trust, Kian thought. His fingers stroked over Likho’s tense belly. Likho must have prepared himself while they had been kissing but had it been enough? The first time they had fucked, Likho had taken his time preparing Kian, taking him apart with his fingers and keeping him distracted with kisses. How typical of the warrior not to give Kian the chance to return that favor.

Kian’s lips thinned in mild anger that soon evaporated in the face of Likho’s discomfort and he massaged the bunching muscles on Likho’s back, other hand wrapped around Likho’s flagging erection. Likho gasped, chest expanding as he inhaled. Kian held his gaze when he moved his hand, callouses of his palm dragging over Likho’s cock and teasing it back to hardness.

Around him, Likho relaxed slowly, the pressure not as bad as before. 

“Next time I’ll let you prepare me.” Likho whispered with a wry twist around his mouth, his hands steadying himself on Kian’s stomach as he sat on his cock and Kian took note of how his heart seemed to lighten at the words, at the promise.

He smiled back, trying not to let too much of his happiness show lest he frightened him away. “Yeah, you should.” Experimentally, he rocked up once, watching how Likho’s eye fluttered closed and a small gasp escaped him. Then he did it again. Likho’s fingers dug into his waist and he lifted up slightly, letting Kian’s cock slip out a little before sinking down again. A steady careful shallow rhythm. Getting used to Kian’s girth while Kian felt as if his heart was in the danger of beating out of his chest.

“Where is the oil?” Kian asked on a whim, voice unsteady at the vice sliding up and down his shaft. For a moment Likho did not answer, moving up and down but then he leaned over, exhaling heavily at the way Kian’s cock moved inside of him at the motion and groped around the sheets before letting the bottle of oil fall against Kian’s side.  
The surface was warmed by the warmth of the bed and Likho watched him with a lidded eye as Kian let some of the oil dribble over his fingers. One of Likho’s brows lifted when Kian urged him up and off but he went willingly and sunk down, easier now, after Kian had re-slicked his cock.

Likho let out an appreciative hum as he more freely moved up and down Kian’s cock and Kian could only dig his nails into the skin of Likho’s waist at the feeling of Likho all but carefully bouncing on his lap, soft moans falling from his mouth. Only when Likho’s hands stroked over his own did he relax them again, leaving behind crescent-shaped dents that he caressed apologetically.

His own breath was labored and he moaned when Likho, deeming himself ready enough, pressed Kian back into the sheet by a hand on his chest and started riding him in earnest. A drawn-out groan escaped Kian and his hips pushing up to meet Likho on ever downward thrust, hand wrapping around Likho’s cock again. 

At first it was a little awkward, moving hips and hand in counter rhythm but soon he had Likho groaning gutturally above him, ass squeezing around him. Then Likho leaned forward to plant both his hands on either side of Kian head, fingers curling into the pillow, leaving only enough space between them that Kian could push upwards ever faster while Likho smashed their mouths together. A particular twist around the base of Likho’s cock had Likho moaning into his mouth before pulling back and biting Kian’s neck, making Kian shout in answer. 

A soothing sloppy lick against his stinging skin and Kian thrust up, pulled Likho’s hips down hard against his groin, making Likho spill between them with a shout of his own.  
Kian panted, watching Likho arch his back, muscles of his stomach trembling. The heat was burning in Kian’s belly and he thrust his hips up quicker, chasing his own orgasm now. He wrapped his arms around Likho’s waist, holding him against as he grit his teeth and his cock pulsed. The palm of Likho’s palm rested against his neck and his other arm was wrapped around his shoulder when the second climax swept him away. Kian’s back bowed and he held Likho tightly against him, not an inch separating them. 

Then his head lolled back against the pillow and he tried to catch his breath. Likho’s face was buried in his neck, his shoulders heaving much like Kian’s chest.  
He circled his thumbs against the skin under his hands and turned his head to bury his nose in Likho’s hair. Outside the room, steps came and went, some rebel meandering past his chamber without stopping while Likho rested on his chest, a comfortable weight. 

After a while, Likho rolled off of him. One of his hands stayed on Kian’s breast, a connection now that they were separated again. Kian moved his arm so that his own fingers were brushing up against Likho’s side.

“What brought that on?” Kian asked, chest still heaving and heard a small snort from beside him. Likho’s hair brushed his shoulder when he dropped a kiss against his sweaty skin and Kian curled his fingers over Likho’s thigh.

“You always seemed to enjoy yourself, judging by the noise.” Likho said. He was silent for a moment, palm stroking over Kian’s chest. Then his face was in Kian’s line of sight as he propped himself up on an elbow. He was smiling.

“And so I wanted to try it out.” Then he frowned at Kian’s smile but Kian could see through it. It wasn’t real, that frown.

“Don’t think too much into it, Azadi.”


	2. Likho's pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Likho's pov. I apologize for any remaining mistakes!

Likho’s inner clock told him that it was close to dawn. Months spend underground had given him a good sense of time. In a few minutes, he knew, the magical lantern would cast its eerie cold blue light over the room, signaling morning.  
For a moment he stayed lying in bed. His right arm had fallen asleep and he curled his fingers gently, brushing the tips against Kian’s front. The Azadi was a warm weight against his chest. Pleasantly so.

They hadn’t fallen asleep like this but Likho somehow always woke up with the man in his arms. This time Kian’s back was to him, he felt, when he moved the hand that was resting on the man’s waist. In the darkness there was nothing to see.

Slowly, Likho brought a bit of distance between them, carefully worming his arm out from under Kian and careful not to put too much distance between them else he would fall. The bed was altogether too small for two grown man. He didn’t know why he even spend the night in the first place, though it might be how Kian managed to tire him out during their nightly tangle. For a soldier, Kian’s sleep could be remarkably deep. He did not stir when Likho recovered his arm, shaking out the uncomfortable tingle.

Kian’s back raised and lowered with his even breath. There was something that Likho wanted to do in this moment, but instead he heaved his body out of bed and groped his way over to his clothes. At this time not many people were awake, though somewhere someone always was. Evading them was easy.

Likho sighed and raised a palm to his forehead, covering his face wearily.

Then he shook himself.

The fabric of his breeches rustled softly when he felt for the strings in the front. When he pulled them on the leather creaked but nothing too loud that would wake the man in the bed.

Every so often he stole an unseeing glance into Kian’s direction, frowning.

Pressed together it had been too warm with only a sheet, so now the fabric would be pooling over Kian’s waist, hiding the rest from him from view.

Likho rubbed a palm over his face again when the image of what lay underneath rose in front of his mind’s eye. Likho knew he was naked, had made him so only the night before. The air still reeked of what they had done.

He swallowed around his dry throat. Another piece of armor settled over his chest, before he picked up the shoulder plate and felt for the buckle.

On the bed Kian sighed in sleep, making Likho freeze. He tensed when he heard Kian nuzzle deeper into the pillow. Enu might have called the gesture cute but something tightened in Likho’s chest, making him anxious to leave, _now_.

Likho pulled on his boots. His weapons he had left in his own quarters.

Then he was done, no more garments to put on but none-the-less there was something different in the air this time. Likho couldn’t put a finger on it. He knew he should leave like he always did. No point in making their dalliance awkward. Likho couldn’t say that he was the best in morning after etiquette, even April had not been impressed. Not that this was the part that made him leave with Kian. He didn’t give a fuck what the Azadi thought. 

No.

He would leave, as always.

He pointed his feet towards where he knew the door would be, but found himself in front of the bed, knees brushing against the mattress and staring down to where Kian was lying. Likho scowled. The expanse of Kian’s face would look inviting, maybe, he thought to himself, but getting caught would be… unpleasant, not matter if the other Rebels would accept him as it was or not.

No. Better not to be seen.

His feet carried him dutifully to the door this time and he laid a hand on the door handle.

Again he stilled when there was the noise of a body turning behind him. Likho looked. Kian had turned on his stomach, he saw, when the magical lantern above Kian’s head flared to life.

What was it today? Why could he not leave? If he had been a man prone to mutter he would have done so, angrily. There was something wrong with him and it was the Azadi’s fault.

There was a subtle hitch in Kian’s breath that Likho would have missed, had not his entire focus been on the man.

Likho’s brows furrowed but he did not move.  
Kian moved again, settling more comfortably on the bed. Now that it was light enough his back _did_ look inviting, a broad expanse of skin over muscle that Likho had kissed and caressed only hours before, before he had entered Kian’s body from behind. Oh how he had _moaned_.

Likho forced his body to remain still, to not react to how his breeches tightened at the memory.

There were rare mornings where Likho didn’t see Kian until it was almost time for dinner. Until now he had not spared a thought to whether or not the man liked to sleep in every now and then.

There hadn’t been many opportunities to sleeping in lately, he knew.

When he was in his own room he might return to sleep, he decided, even though it was unlikely. Anything to keep himself out of the Azadi’s way on this day. Some tension lay in the air.

A step forward, away from the door.

Yes, he would leave. He knew the way to his own quarters by heart.

Another step.

He tread quietly, so not to wake Kian. He would only ask questions Likho could not answer.

Another step.

Kian was a quiet man, not prone to ask too many questions. A fault in his upbringing no doubt. But Likho could see the questions in his eyes. Even now he was torn between his people and the resistance.

Another step.

Despite himself, Likho could not fault him. Not anymore.

When he was in front of the bed he stared down at Kian. Despite knowing what he looked like when he came he didn’t know what he thought. About everything, but especially about this.

About them, he decided after a pause.

Likho’s hands raised to the buckles of his armor again. There was no mission today, he knew. And there would not be one tomorrow unless the Azadi planned a move that the Resistance had not heard a wisp of.

A day full of possibilities spread out in front of him, as Enu would say. And she would probably tell him to get back into Kian’s bed.

He paused, shoulder plate in hand. The Zhid had no place here, he decided. She had been the first to accept him, along with April, but this was only between Kian and himself.

He placed the shoulder plate on the stool at the end of the bed and the rest of his armor followed, piece by piece.

There was something he had thought about, fantasized about when he had lain in his own bed alone. Usually, when they were together, they undressed and they fucked, none of the drawn out exploration that April had liked one of the times they had lain together. As if Kian became less of a man if Likho just hurried.

Kian moved again, curling a hand under his chest, breath too calm and even to be anything but awake.

Distantly, Likho wondered why he did not turn, ask why he was still in his quarters when he should already be on the way to his own.  
Likho was glad that he didn’t, that he was still faced away, giving him the space and privacy to do… what exactly? Make a choice.

The last of his clothes joined the rest on the stool, leaving him bare.

Beside the bed was a candle and he lit it, tired suddenly of the cold light. For what he was about to do he wanted to be able to see more.  
The candle light cast it’s warm glow over Kian’s skin, casting his muscles into harsher contrasts. Red to blue. Likho took a deep breath, before he put a knee on the bed, sliding back underneath the sheet.

“You’re awake.” He stated and slid a hand over the skin of Kian’s waist.

For a moment Kian was silent. It felt as if cold stones had been dropped into Likho’s stomach, only thawing when Kian agreed. “I am.” One blue eye surveyed him over a dark shoulder. Kian shivered when Likho gave into an urge and pressed his lips to that shoulder. He tasted faintly of the sweat of the night before.

Likho looked at Kian then, to gauge his reaction.

There were questions in Kian’s gaze but Likho could ignore those as long as they weren’t voiced aloud. And they weren’t. Instead Kian burrowed his face back into the pillow and shifted his legs in a way that made Likho want, suddenly, to slip back between them and see if he was still as loose and welcoming as the night before. There was nothing stopping him but his own inhibitions.

Likho curled his hand around Kian’s shoulder and pulled, rolling him onto his back without any resistance. Then he was looking up at Likho. The want burned in Likho now.  
In a sense it was power, to move this man in front of him where and how he wanted him. 

There was still confusion on Kian’s face and his lips parted, as if to ask a question and Likho reached for his legs, rearranging them so his body was bracketed by them.  
Likho’s knees sunk into the mattress.

Then he didn’t know what to do, frozen in indecision and the weight of the moment crashing on his shoulders. He _wanted_ so much and one of the things he wanted, at this moment, was to run from this room and never look back. When there had only been the possibility of hooking up with one of the other rebels it had been fine, but now it was morning and he was faced with a naked man looking up at him, his strong thighs resting against either side of his waist.

And he was at a lost. Possibilities stretched out before him and he didn’t know what he wanted to do first the most.  
Everything before him begged to be caressed and explored. It was more intimate than everything they had done before. Things to do with a _lover_ , instead of with a one-nightstand.

“You can tell me what you want, you know.” Kian interrupted his thought, voice soft and gentle, understanding. His hands reached for Likho and Likho caught them with his own, pressing them back over the man’s head, into the soft pillow.  
He couldn’t _think_ with Kian’s hands on him.  
And he couldn’t think when he was so understanding, either. It was embarrassing, how indecisive he was today.

There was a flush covering his cheeks, Likho could feel. He felt tongue-tied and couldn’t, wouldn’t, meet Kian’s eyes.

“Don’t talk. Don’t move.” He pressed out around a tongue like lead, startled at how angry his voice came out. He forced himself to calm down when he added. “Please.” Almost like a plea.

Kian complied to his words, lying back, muscles only ever so slightly tense and nodded.  
Likho stroked the thin skin on Kian’s wrist, trying to convey his gratitude and apology both with this simple touch and unsure if he succeeded.

He moved his hands down, palms over Kian’s forearms and down over his elbows to his shoulders, enjoying the soft stretch of skin over mounts of muscle, unblemished except for a couple of scars.

Kian snorted out a soft laughter when Likho’s fingertips ghosted over his armpits and the rough hair there and Likho tucked the knowledge away into a quiet corner of his mind that was filled with everything he knew about Kian.

Likho expected him to cover himself, protect the vulnerable spot but he kept his arms where Likho had put them. Down over the curve of his collarbones and Likho sat back on his haunches, taking his hands off Kian and settling them on his own thighs, back of his hands brushing against Kian’s thighs and suddenly he wanted to cross his arms over his chests, now that they weren’t touching anymore.

Kian’s leg moved then, his toes brushing against Likho’s back briefly, almost a caress, before the blanket was dragged away. Likho kept his eye on Kian, how his eyes fluttered shut briefly as he concentrated.

Then he was left bare, vulnerable for a moment until Kian’s legs wrapped back around him, heels hooking over each other at the small of his back.

Some of the tension seeped out of Likho and he settled his hands on Kian’s raised knees for a moment, before sliding them down over his thighs. He dug his thumbs into the thick muscles, hearing Kian sigh in pleasure.  
Likho caressed the thin skin on Kian’s inner thigh, down towards his groin and Kian shifted into the touch, lifting his hips slightly. Likho’s own cock hardened at the wanton gesture.

Kian’s sigh, when Likho bypassed his cock sounded disappointed and he almost grinned, palmed instead Kian’s belly, sliding his fingers over the ridges of his muscles and felt them tense and relax under his touch as Kian fought not to move.

It was humbling that Kian did as Likho had asked him. His arms twitched but so far he had not tried to reach for Likho, though his movements told of how much he wanted to. How he shifted and raised his body into Likho’s touch.

Likho dipped the tip of his thumb into Kian’s belly, making the man squirm lightly before he moved upwards to his chest, thumbing his nipples and feeling them harden under his touch. Likho leaned over Kian and watched how the lights cast shadows over his skin.  
On a whim Likho reached down and hefted Kian’s ass against his lap, observing how his pupils dilated, settled lower until Kian’s pelvis was cradled against his lap and he could rub his erection against Kian’s lightly, hearing him moan.

Likho’s hands went back to Kian’s chest and he rubbed his palms more firmly over his nipples, licking his lips when they hardened under his touch. Kian’s eyes tracked the gesture. His mouth had fallen open to let out puffs of breaths and he moaned when Likho stroked over them again and pinched them between his fingers.

He let his hands circle lower over Kian’s belly, pressing down harder against his skin before ghosting fingers over Kian’s sides. A small smile pulled at his lips as Kian snorted and squirmed away from the touch.  
Likho’s gaze was fixed on his own hands as they made their way downward. They had never taken their time likes this. _He_ had never taken his time. He raked his blunt fingernails over Kian’s inner thighs to see his reaction. This was his opportunity to really watch the Azadi.

Kian’s back arched and Likho’s cock almost _leaped_ at the pleasure etched on Kian’s face. His hands flew back to Kian’s waist and pressed him down. His own mouth fell open at the lost look on Kian’s face as he struggled to comprehend why he was being pressed back into the bed.

His cock was hard, the tip having rubbed against Likho’s belly when he had pressed against Likho and Likho wanted suddenly to have him in his mouth, experience how a man’s cock tasted against his tongue.

Kian’s hands were fisted in the pillow beside his head and he stared at him, blinked when Likho told him to close his eyes but he did so with only a moment’s hesitation.

How far they had come. A month ago he would have never done it, wouldn’t have let Likho out of his sight but here he was now, lying trusting beneath Likho.

Likho settled back on his haunches and his hands framed Kian’s groin. He stared for a moment. Being faced with a man’s cock woke apprehension in him. It was alright to touch with his his hand but to put his mouth on such an intimate body part. The insults this action would get him among his people rang hollowly and thinly in the back of his head as he leaned down. He had not told Kian anything in detail about what his people thought about men who lay with men and he would not. Kian already touched him more carefully than he would likely do with another (and why did the image of Kian with another let his chest go tight). Likho hated being treated as something fragile. 

He was not home. Among the rebels he was free.

He shook of the restraints he had put on himself and covered the distance, opening his mouth and sinking down over Kian’s cock.  
Kian shouted and Likho found his grip tighten on Kian’s waist, holding him and pressing him back as his hips jerked upwards, chasing his mouth as Likho pulled back a moment. Then he took more of Kian’s erection into his mouth, trying out how much he could fit until the tip bumped against the back of his mouth.

The feeling was unpleasant as he gagged but Kian’s moan was almost worth it, as was the weight against his tongue. The taste was not unpleasant. Sweaty and musty after the night and after a while he did not taste like anything but _Kian_.

He swirled his tongue over the tip and heard Kian groan shamelessly.

If he had not told the man not to move he imagined he would have his hands in his hair already. His hips were bucking under his vice-like grip and he wouldn’t have minded, maybe, to have fingers card through his hair and push him _down_ , or just to have him cradle his head.

It was intimate, thinking this way, even in the privacy of his own mind. He could not even think of a way to verbalize his wants to Kian.

Likho pushed his own hard cock against the bed when Kian almost begged to his deity, snorted around the weight in his mouth at how pious Kian was even in bed. On other occasions he had made him plead to his Goddess, too. He almost wanted to tell him that She had no place here.

Likho wrapped one of his hands around the base of Kian’s cock, fit the rest of it more comfortably in his mouth. As much as he found to like the practice he could not say that he was fond of gagging and choking on it.

It had looked easier when Kian had done it to him and _he_ had not had much experience either.

He licked over the underside and let his other hand trail down, caressed Kian sack. Kian was always so _sensitive_ , even after he had fucked him last night. He moaned at the touch and Likho had to press the forearm of the hand holding the base of Kian’s cock over his belly to keep him from pushing his cock farther into Likho’s mouth.

He sucked the cock a little deeper while he let his fingers trail lower, found Kian to be still sticky from the night before but not wet enough to simply push inside. No doubt he was sore and he did not wish to bring discomfort or pain.

On either side of his head, Kian’s thighs trembled. Likho’s own body was drawn tight and he found himself panting around Kian’s shaft and rubbing his own groin against the sheets underneath him.

Likho’s face felt hot when he pulled back and groped around for the oil from last night. The little flask had rolled into the gap between mattress and wall, stopper in place like Likho remembered.

He did not wish to palm a little flask of oil from the kitchen again. While no one had noticed, they would when too many went missing.  
That day he had felt particularly bold.

Kian did not seem to notice when Likho took his hands off his skin long enough to pull the stopper and dribble oil onto his fingers.  
Then he laid his left arm over Kian’s stomach to hold him still while he sank the fingers of his right into him. They went in with little resistance. Yesterday Likho had prepared him, the image of Kian caught in the throws of pleasure were vivid in his mind, overlaid now by the way the light played over Kian’s twitching body. Likho searched out _that_ spot he knew would only heighten his pleasure and _curled_ his fingers against it.

He was unprepared for the come flooding his mouth and Likho pulled back until only the tip of Kian’s cock was still in his mouth. The come, when he swallowed, tasted slightly salty and bitter. Not a taste he was sure he would get quite used to. But he didn’t mind either. It was… new.

Likho stayed where he was, not ready to face Kian yet. Kian would want to touch him, return the favor which was always pleasurable but somehow Likho found himself shifting against the sheets and wishing for something different. Kian’s hole was still contracting around his fingers and his own hole tensed in sympathy. 

He had never… as long as they had been fucking no one had ever… but now Likho found himself wishing for Kian to put his fingers to that place as well. Likho wondered if it was as pleasurable for any man as it was for Kian, when the moans he emitted when Likho fucked him were any indication.

But it was a degrading act, Likho had been taught. And yet…

Kian’s cock was softening in his mouth and it was intimate to hold it so, feel how he went from hard to soft, how the tension of his body released and he all but melted into the bed.  
Kian was still panting and Likho let himself be moved slightly away when one of Kian’s feet pressed against his shoulder.

It was pleasant to be cradled between his thighs and he couldn’t help but press his open mouth against the crease where Kian’s thigh met his groin, rubbing himself against the sheet.  
He could come from this, he realized belatedly. He could come just from having sucked Kian off and having his scent surround him and a little friction against his cock.

His breath was going to fast and for a moment he hung on the edge of climax before he fought his body under control.

“I could help you with that, you know.” Kian’s voice penetrated his thoughts. The ball of his foot rubbed against the tension in Likho’s back and Likho found himself relaxing slightly.  
Kian’s hand settled on his belly above Likho’s head.

For a moment he looked as if he meant to pet his hair. A month ago Likho would not have allowed it but now… he shot Kian a heated look, watching how he shivered in reaction and how heady it was to have this much power of the Azadi. Likho moved to his knees before he could give into the temptation. Today he may feel like cuddling with Kian but to imagine something deeper than what they had? It twisted something dark and sick deep in Likho’s belly.

No. This was a dalliance, an affair. Nothing more.

Like and unlike what he had had with April.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He promised Kian once he was settled back. His own climax was still just in reach and he wrapped his own hand around his straining member and _squeezed_.

It was a painful and altogether unpleasant experience but it pulled him back from the edge. He wanted… he _wanted_ to come with Kian’s cock in his ass.

What was another line crossed between them. According to his own people he was already doomed.

Likho closed his eye briefly to get his bearings.  
When he opened them a new flush had settled over Kian’s chest. His eyes were on him, hungry and sated at the same time. His foot was still idly tracing patterns on the small of his back. His other leg was stretched out, knee digging gently into Likho’s side.

Likho found himself looking.

“Are you only going to stare at me then?” Kian asked after a while when Likho failed to move, to act towards what he wanted. Some barriers were harder to cross than others it seemed.

No words wanted to come to him so Likho only settled his hands back on Kian’s waist.  
Then he leaned down to capture Kian’s mouth with his own.

Kian opened up willingly to him, sighed into him. Likho kept it shallow, comfortable and intimate in a way they had never been before.

The possibility of them spending the day in bed stretched out in his mind, frightening and strangely alluring.

No. When they were done he would leave. They were only barely lovers and the resistance needed his attention more than Kian did.

Likho’s breath hitched in his throat and he licked over Kian’s lips, coaxing them open. His cock dug into Kian’s groin and he could not stop his hips from twitching, to seek some form of friction.

Kian’s hand found it’s way to Likho’s neck and Likho could not have pulled away if he had wanted to as Kian pressed them together, came alive to rub his tongue against Likho’s.

Their chests were pressed together when Kian wrapped his other arm around his shoulders. Then Likho had to swallow a _whine_ when Kian lifted his hips and let Likho’s cock drag over his hole in a clear invitation. And it was so very tempting to simply sink into his heat and lose himself.

“No, wanton beast.” Likho found himself growling against Kian’s mouth. He bit the corner of Kian’s mouth as the Azadi laughed breathlessly and Likho pushed him forcefully against the mattress.

“I’ve never been called that.” Kian breathed against his ear, a laugh still echoing in his voice and nuzzled his cheek. Likho found warmth rising to his ears at the playfulness of the man. He hid his face into Kian’s shoulder lest he see the smile on his own face. He scrapped his teeth against Kian’s neck to hear him gasp.  
Goosebumps rose against his tongue when he licked over a sensitive spot that he had discovered weeks ago.

Kian’s throat was working and Likho captured his mouth again before he could speak. He did not want to hear the question lest he had to answer it honestly and bare his heart.  
He had waited too long and now indecision curled in his belly. Likho slipped up to his knees again, put a little distance between their groins while still kissing Kian.

His hand found the flask of oil and he dribbled some of its contents over his fingers before reaching back and stilling when the tip of his finger brushed over _that_ place. The place where he wanted to welcome Kian and could not.

Kian gasped again against his mouth and Likho’s resolve steeled. Kian had shown no indecision or regret about having given his body to Likho, his honor demanded him to return the favor, he told himself.

The breech of his fingers was weird at first, dry despite the oil. Their first time together Likho had taken his time preparing him, unwilling to hurt the man in such an intimate manner. He wondered if Kian had felt the same apprehension Likho was feeling now.

It was not unpleasant. Likho put a hand on the back of Kian’s neck to hold him still, keep him from looking. He did not want an audience while he pushed his finger deeper, spread the oil in this most intimate of places.

His tongue pressed against Kian’s, moaning against him when he pushed a second finger inside and it _burned_. The edge of climax was receding with his ministrations. His muscles were tense and reluctant to loosen around the penetration.

Likho _forced_ his muscles to relax enough to push a third finger inside. It hurt but he knew it would not last, just like Kian had told him once when he had asked him in the dead and darkness of night.

When he deemed himself as ready as he would be, considering what they were doing, he poured more oil over his fingers and let the empty flask roll back into it’s place between bed and wall. Kian moaned and bucked against him when he wrapped his oil-slick hand around his newly hardened cock, swore in a way Likho had not heard from him before.  
He hid his face in Kian’s neck and laughed before biting down, leaving a mark where Kian’s armor would hide it later.

“I need you hard.” He muttered against the skin when he squeezed and dragged his hand upwards over Kian’s cock, coaxing him into stiffness, low enough that Kian would not understand the words.

A tiny niggling voice in the back of his head told him that he might have told Kian what he wanted. He squashed it down, aware of his own foolishness.

Kian wouldn’t have turned him away but he did not want his words of encouragement, his gentleness.

Instead now Kian looked at him in mild confusion, eyes wide as understanding seeped in as Likho moved to straddle his lap and steadied his cock.

Then Likho bore down, squeezed his eye and mouth shut against the blunt pressure, feeling much too big even after he had prepared himself.

His brow wrinkled. It hurt when Kian’s cock finally slipped inside, first the head and then the rest of him following, as if it was sucked inside.

Likho’s breath quickened but he swallowed down the pained whine that wanted to escape him. Had it hurt Kian like this when they had done this the first time? If so he had shown remarkable restrain, while Likho wanted to pull off him again.

But there had to be something pleasurable about it. Kian had moaned each time Likho had fucked him.  
Likho sunk down on the unforgiving hardness, oil helping ease the way as his tensing muscles were stretched in an uncomfortable way.

Underneath him, Kian held very still. Likho could feel his hands on his waist, stroking soothingly circles into his skin.

He moaned softly but still he did not move, did not pull him down the rest of the way. Likho was thankful of his patience but he could not get himself to open his eye, see what expression was on Kian’s face.

One of Kian’s hands moved to his belly, fingers digging into the tense muscles.  
Then the hand moved over his waist, hard presses against his skin that felt more like a massage that Likho would have enjoyed in any other situation involving them and a bed. The palm reached the small of his back and dug into the painful muscles there.

He gasped when Kian’s other hand left his waist and wrapped around his softened member.

By now he was sitting in Kian’s lap, pubic hair brushing against his ass but his channel burned around the intrusion. Moving felt out of the question.

He looked down at Kian. There was a thin line between his brows, his eyes dark. His mouth looked soft, open slightly around his pants.  
The callouses of his hand teased over Likho’s cock and Likho found himself holding still even though he wanted to push into the pressure.  
But slowly, between the hand stroking his cock and the hand massaging the small of his back he found his muscles loosening.

A hint of reproach could be found on Kian’s face and Likho swallowed around his dry throat. Some of the pain had eased but he still did not feel like moving at all, but he could not sit on Kian’s lap all day.

He felt apologetic as he said “Next time I’ll let you prepare me.” His mouth twisted wryly and he pressed his own hands against Kian’s stomach, gasping slightly every time Kian’s palm twisted around the head of his cock.

He wondered how tight he felt around Kian, if he should move now.

Kian smiled at him then and Likho found his heart squeeze and flutter for a moment until Kian rocked up, shifting his cock in Likho’s ass and drawing a gasp from him.

“Yeah, you should.” Kian agreed but Likho could not see his expression because his own eye had fluttered shut. The feeling was _weird_ , painful still but not as unbearable as it had been before.

When Kian did it again there was an edge of pleasure and then Likho dug his fingers into Kian’s waist to lift up slightly before sinking down shallowly. His muscles still protested the movement some, even with the help of the oil but it was going more easily now.

“Where is the oil?” Kian asked unsteadily, his hands on Likho’s waist in turn. His knees had risen behind Likho, feet flat against the bed and Likho found himself leaning against them, felt his muscles ease some more with the different angle.  
He let out a breath as he leaned to reach for the flask and it changed the angle of Kian’s cock again. His body was accepting the intrusion, taking him more easily with every motion.

He let the bottle fall from his nerveless fingers against Kian’s side and settled, motion not altogether pleasurable, still riding the edge between pain and something better. He watched as Kian let the last of the oil flow over his fingers.

‘What are you doing?’ was on the tip of his tongue as Kian urged him up and off his cock but he settled for a raised brow instead that was ignored.  
Kian’s own gaze was fixed on his own cock, slipping out of Likho, brow furrowed but his expression eased and Likho found some of his own anxiety ease with it.

Likho hummed in appreciation when Kian slicked his cock again before holding himself steady for Likho again. The slide down this time was easier, slicker, pain almost gone now.

Likho even felt loose and pliant and he moved experimentally up and down the shaft, let his mouth fall open on soft moans. Kian’s nails dug into his waist and Likho palmed his hands, focused on that intimate place where Kian was breaching him. There would be marks later on his waist and hidden under his armor.  
A hint of pain lasted but it was overlapped with pleasure as Kian rocked in counter-rhythm to him.

A drawn out groan escaped Kian and then his hand was back on Likho’s cock, drawing a guttural moan out of his own throat as pleasure pooled in his belly.

He squeezed around Kian’s cock and was rewarded with a thrust upwards that stroked over _that_ spot he had discovered already in Kian’s body, which had always made him moan louder.

Now he could understand why.

Likho moaned.

He all but bounced on Kian’s cock before letting himself almost fall forward, planting his hands on either side of Kian’s head and curling his hands into the fabric of the pillow, holding on as Kian used the new angle to use the leverage the bed gave him to thrust upwards harshly.

Likho smashed their mouths together to hide at least some of the wanton noises he was making.

Kian’s hand twisted around his cock and he moaned into Kian’s mouth before pulling back and biting his neck in retaliation.  
Kian shouted, but it was only noise, no words that Likho could recognize in his state. It was as if every brush of his cock against the spot let a current of lightning dance through his body, letting his hair stand at an end.

He sloppily kissed over the mark and Kian thrust up, pulled his hips down hard against his groin and Likho was gone.

It was as if a string pulled tight had snapped. He spilled over Kian’s belly with a shout, body tensing and channel contracting around Kian’s cock.

His back arched and he pushed down against the weight, chasing the feeling as he spend himself.

Underneath him Kian thrust up more quickly, prolonging Likho’s climax somehow and leaving him gasping. Kian’s arms wrapped around his waist, face twisted in pleasure that looked almost painful, teeth clenched. Likho’s limbs felt shaky and leaden but he rested his palm against Kian’s neck and wrapped his other arm around his shoulder, holding on as Kian almost sobbed and clung to him as his hips rocked up, pressing them as tightly together as could be as he spend his seed as well for the second time this morning.

Then Kian let his body tip backwards, consequently pulling Likho with him to the bed, pressed to his chest.

They were both panting for breath. Likho buried his face into Kian’s neck again. He was too loose even to tense when steps passed the door but he hoped belatedly that they had not been too loud.

This part of the enclave held fewer rebels but nonetheless… the walls were not thick even if Likho had never heard something from the other rooms.

When Likho could feel his limbs again he rolled off of Kian and to his side, putting some distance between them but his hands remained on Kian’s chest. Kian’s arm splayed between them and his fingers brushed Likho’s side.

“What brought that on?” Kian asked quietly. His chest was heaving and he sounded as if he had run a mile, but Likho was not any better of. Likho snorted.

Then he rolled closer to drop a kiss against the sweaty skin of Kian’s shoulder. He moved his leg closer to the other man, wincing when that pulled strangely at his tender hole which was feeling wet and sore. Kian’s fingers curled over his thigh, thumb stroking against his skin, warm and intimately.

“You always seemed to enjoy yourself, judging by the noise.” Likho settled for the truth. He caressed Kian’s chest for a moment, unsure if he should say more, reveal himself in the intimacy of this morning. Kian was quiet and Likho found himself pushing up on an elbow to see Kian’s face. He was smiling.

“And so I wanted to try it out.” He continued, watched Kian’s smile widen and let a frown settle on his own face.

“Don’t think too much into it, Azadi.” He warned but his heart skipped a beat, betraying the lie.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this bout of smut. Please leave a kudos and a comment, I always appreciate some feedback concerning my grammar and everything else that could have gone wrong. ;) 
> 
> In my head Kian and Likho both are bad at verbalising their feelings. So very very bad. But one of these days I will write something fluffy for these idiots in love and it will be beautiful damnit!


End file.
